Blending vs. Unblending: A Core Skill in IFS

Written By Rachel Pfeiffer

In IFS, a key concept is blending—when a part of you takes over your thoughts, feelings, and actions. You might feel like “I am angry” or “I am worthless,” when in truth, that’s just one part speaking.

Why Unblending Matters

When you unblend, you create space to observe the part without being consumed by it. This allows the Self to come forward with curiosity and care.

How to Practice Unblending

  • Pause and say: “A part of me feels angry” rather than “I’m angry”

  • Ask: “Can I get to know this part better?”

  • Notice sensations and stories from a distance, not as your whole truth

This is especially powerful in couples work, where partners can say, “A part of me wants to shut down right now,” which opens space for honest, non-defensive dialogue.

North Sydney IFS Support for Emotional Regulation

Whether you’re managing intense emotions or navigating conflict in your relationship, unblending is a skill that changes everything.

Rachel Pfeiffer https://www.theembodiedmind.com.au
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