Feeling Stuck? How to Work With Resistance Instead of Fighting It
Why Do We Resist Change?
Have you ever set an intention to grow—whether it’s healing old wounds, pursuing a dream, or creating a new habit—only to find yourself stuck in patterns of avoidance, procrastination, or self-doubt?
Resistance is a paradox. It often shows up strongest when we’re on the edge of meaningful transformation. But instead of seeing it as an enemy to conquer, what if we could learn to work with it instead?
Understanding Resistance: A Nervous System Perspective
Resistance isn’t laziness or lack of willpower—it’s a nervous system response. When change feels uncertain or threatening, the brain perceives it as a potential danger, even if it’s something we deeply want.
This triggers different protective responses:
Fight: Pushing back, self-sabotage, inner criticism
Flight: Avoidance, overworking, distractions
Freeze: Paralysis, procrastination, emotional numbness
Fawn: People-pleasing, over-explaining, deferring to others
Your body is simply trying to keep you safe. The key is not to push through resistance with force, but to create safety in the nervous system so you can move forward with ease.
How to Work With Resistance Instead of Fighting It
1. Notice the Resistance (Without Judging It)
The first step is to name what’s happening: “I’m feeling resistance right now.”
Instead of seeing it as a failure, get curious: Where do I feel this in my body?
Resistance often shows up as:
Tightness in the chest or throat
Heavy fatigue or sluggishness
A racing mind full of excuses or justifications
A strong urge to do anything else but the thing you need to do
Simply observing it without judgment helps remove the shame that often keeps us stuck.
2. Regulate Your Nervous System
Since resistance is a stress response, calming the nervous system can help shift it. Try:
Slow, deep breathing (exhale longer than inhale to signal safety)
Shaking it out (literally shake your body to release stuck energy)
Humming or singing (activates the vagus nerve to downshift stress)
Somatic touch (place a hand on your heart or belly for comfort)
This helps signal to your body: It’s safe to take the next step.
3. Shift from “Should” to “Choice”
Resistance often grows when we feel forced to do something. Instead of saying:
“I have to meditate today.” → Try: “I choose to take five minutes to breathe.”
“I should be more productive.” → Try: “I’m allowed to move at my own pace.”
Giving yourself permission instead of pressure creates space for movement.
4. Start Small (Micro-Shifts Create Momentum)
When we’re stuck in resistance, the mind tends to think all or nothing—if we can’t do it perfectly, we don’t do it at all. Instead, try micro-shifts:
1% effort in the right direction (write one sentence, take one deep breath, move for one minute)
Commit to just 5 minutes (once you start, momentum often carries you forward)
**Make the first step **too easy to fail (lower the barrier to entry)
Your brain loves small wins—they create safety and build trust with yourself.
5. Befriend the Part of You That’s Resisting
What if the part of you that’s resisting isn’t trying to sabotage you, but protect you?
Try this:
Close your eyes and imagine the part of you that’s resisting.
Ask it: What are you afraid will happen if I move forward?
Thank it for trying to keep you safe.
Offer it reassurance: “I hear you. I will take this at a pace that feels safe.”
This Internal Family Systems (IFS)-inspired approach helps shift the dynamic from inner battle to inner collaboration.
Resistance as a Portal to Growth
Resistance isn’t a sign you’re failing—it’s a sign that something meaningful is on the other side.
Instead of fighting it, meet it with curiosity, regulation, and compassion. This way, the energy that was once blocking you becomes the very thing that propels you forward.
Ready to break free from stuck patterns? Book a session with The Embodied Mind Collective to learn how to work with your nervous system and move toward lasting change.
