Invalidation in Relationships: When Your Feelings Are Dismissed, Not Held
In any relationship, we long to feel heard, seen, and understood. When we share something vulnerable and our partner responds with presence and care, trust deepens. But when our emotions are dismissed, criticised, or ignored, something inside begins to shut down.
This is called emotional invalidation—and it’s one of the most common, yet overlooked, sources of disconnection in relationships. It’s often subtle, unintentional, and easy to miss. But over time, invalidation erodes emotional safety and creates distance between partners.
At our North Sydney therapy space, we help individuals and couples understand invalidation, repair trust, and build emotional environments where both people feel safe to be real.
What Is Emotional Invalidation?
Emotional invalidation happens when someone minimizes, rejects, or dismisses another person’s emotional experience. It can sound like:
“You’re overreacting.”
“It’s not that big of a deal.”
“You’re too sensitive.”
“You always make everything about you.”
“Just calm down, it’s fine.”
These comments often stem from discomfort, defensiveness, or emotional avoidance—but regardless of the intent, the impact is the same: your feelings don’t matter here.
The Impact of Emotional Invalidation
When emotional invalidation becomes a pattern in a relationship, it can lead to:
Doubting your own feelings or perceptions
Withdrawing or emotionally shutting down
Feeling “too much” or not enough
Silencing your needs to avoid conflict
Growing resentment and relational distance
Eventually, you may stop sharing altogether—not because you don’t care, but because it doesn’t feel safe.
Why Invalidation Happens
Many people were never taught how to be with difficult emotions—either their own or someone else’s. If someone grew up in an environment where feelings were dismissed, punished, or brushed aside, they may carry these patterns into adult relationships without realizing it.
Sometimes, invalidation also functions as a protective strategy. A partner may minimize your emotions to avoid feeling guilt, shame, or inadequacy. But what feels like self-protection to one person often feels like rejection to the other.
What Validation Looks Like Instead
Validation doesn’t mean you always agree. It means you acknowledge the validity of your partner’s emotional experience. It sounds like:
“That makes sense why you’d feel that way.”
“I can see how this affected you.”
“I’m really glad you shared that with me.”
“I hear you. That sounds hard.”
These small acts of emotional presence can transform a relationship.
How Therapy Helps Heal Emotional Invalidation
In therapy, we create a space where emotional safety can be rebuilt—slowly and intentionally. We support individuals and couples to:
Recognize when invalidation is happening (even subtly)
Pause reactive dynamics and return to presence
Learn tools for empathic listening, validation, and emotional attunement
Understand the emotional wounds that drive invalidation
Create new relational patterns based on trust, care, and openness
Couples Therapy and Emotional Safety
In couples therapy, we help break the invalidation cycle. Often, it goes like this:
One partner expresses emotion
The other feels overwhelmed or blamed, and responds by minimizing
The first partner feels even more hurt and shuts down
This loop can repeat endlessly unless interrupted. In therapy, we slow the process down. We help partners hear without defending, validate without fixing, and respond without taking things personally.
These shifts can radically change the tone of your relationship and rebuild the emotional bridge between you.
North Sydney Therapy for Relational Healing
If you’re feeling unseen, unheard, or dismissed in your relationship—or if you want to learn how to better support your partner—therapy can help. You’re not alone. Many couples fall into these patterns not out of malice, but because no one ever showed them another way.
At The Embodied Mind Collective, we offer a warm and non-judgmental space in North Sydney to explore your relational patterns and begin building something more secure and nourishing.
Book a Session
We offer in-person therapy in North Sydney and online sessions across Australia.
If you’re ready to feel more heard, connected, and understood, reach out today. We’d be honoured to support you.
