Boundaries in Polyamory: Why They’re About Freedom, Not Control
Boundaries often get a bad reputation in alternative relationships. They’re confused with rules, ultimatums, or attempts to control a partner’s choices. But in reality, boundaries are what make freedom possible.
In North Shore and North Sydney couples therapy, we often help people shift from seeing boundaries as restrictions to seeing them as clarity: a way of saying “This is how I can stay open, loving, and present in this relationship.”
Rules vs Boundaries
Rules usually sound like: “You can’t do X.” They control another person’s behaviour.
Boundaries sound like: “I need X to feel safe in this connection. If that isn’t possible, here’s what I’ll do to care for myself.”
Boundaries are about responsibility for your own well-being, not managing your partner’s.
Why Boundaries Matter in Open Relationships
Without boundaries, people often swing between over-accommodating (to seem “cool” with polyamory) and over-controlling (to manage fear). Both lead to resentment.
Boundaries create:
Safety. Knowing what each person needs to stay regulated.
Trust. Confidence that limits will be respected.
Sustainability. The ability to navigate change without constant rupture.
Couples Therapy North Sydney and North Shore
At The Embodied Mind Collective, we help partners define boundaries that are rooted in self-awareness rather than fear. In therapy, boundaries become a language of care, not control, allowing alternative relationships to thrive.
🌿 Explore our couples therapy services at www.theembodiedmind.com.au
